cheney, that son of a bitch

September 8

The funniest thing happened today. Dick Cheney was giving a speech. That old son of a bitch. Thank god he didn't have a heart attack.

My mom is sooo embarassing. I hate her!

today my mom said the dumbest stuff. I'm gonna kill her. I told 41 not to let her talk. She was standing outside the Astrodome in Houston, which I really wanna check out when they fix it up and she opened her big fat moth at said about the black people: "What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is they all want to stay in Texas." Of course it's scary but Rove was clear that we can't say that. And then she said: "And so many of the people in the arena here, youknow, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this is working very well for them." I'm not sure what that means but people are PO'd. And she was laughing too. I always hated when she did that. She's always laugh after she said something mean.

I soooo don't want to go to Misiisippi

I really didn't want to go to Missisippii. Or Alabama. I told Rovey that I saw the damage from my plane. But he made me go. I said to the press: "I'm not looking forward to this trip."

I saw these 2 women who just wouldn't stop crying. One of them said: "My son needs clothes, I don't have anything." What the hell did they want me to say? I don't know. So i kind of kissed them, on the head, NOT on the face because who know when they showered last. And then I told them "I understand that." And then I told them "Hang in there." I also recomended they go to a salvation army for help.

I saw Trenty's house, or what remains of it, that poor son of a bitch. It inspired me to say something very nice: "The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch." Everyone laughed so I guess they liked what I said. Even though I hated is porch. But I was trying to be nice.

Yeah, I've been keeping positive. I'm doing a real good job of relating to these people. I'm sad that New Orleans isn't around too. I said: "Here's what I believe. I believe that the great city of New Orleans will rise again and be a greater city of New Orleans. I believe the town where I used to come -- from Houston, Texas, to enjoy myself, occasionally too much -- will be that very same town, that it will be a better place to come to. " Gosh, I used to get soo sick here. Makes me sick just thinking about how sick I used to get. But it was fun.

Oh, I really feel bad for Brownie. I told him today, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." I think he felt a lot better. I hope so. Because I really do want him to give me a horse. I gotta stay on good terms with this guy.

No fair! Ray Nagin is such a sissy

Condi called me and said she loved Smalalot. She laughed and laughed. She called from shoe shopping. That lady can shop. She spent a few thousand on ferregamo shoes on 5th avenue. I told her she better get some nice shoes she can wade through the water when she goes to the hurricane. We had a nice laugh. She said the U.S. open was fun too. That's so unfair. I don't get to anything. And I'm the president!

Oh I asked 41, my pop, to start raising some money for the twister victims. He's gonna team up with that douche bag Clinton.

It was cool because I got to go on Good Morning America today. I had to wake up SOOO early. Rovester went over my lines with me and I said them without messing up once. So when that snotty bitch Dian Sawer asked me "what took so long?" I said: "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees. They did anticipate a serious storm." Just like that. Didn't break or sweat or anything.

Everyone's PO'd with Brownie. Because he said some stuff on the TV that people didn't like. On nightline he said: "We just learned of the convention center -- we being the federal government -- today," and boy did Ted Koppel tear him a new one.

Cherty Cherty said on NPR "I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center who don't have food and water." But nobody's mad at him. I think it's because people just don't respect Brownie because he used to work with horses. I think his old job sounds cool. I'd like to over see Arabian horse shows.
I was fooling around on the internets today and found the Arabian Horse Association website. It's cool. They're raising money for sick horses in New Orleans. That's nice of them. I'm gonna get me a few Arabian horses. Maybe get Jenna and Barbara one too. They'd like that.
Ray "Charles" Nagin is such a sissy. Today he issued an SOS. What a sissy.