bush's blog

cheney, that son of a bitch

2005-09-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

September 8

The funniest thing happened today. Dick Cheney was giving a speech. That old son of a bitch. Thank god he didn't have a heart attack.

My mom is sooo embarassing. I hate her!

2005-09-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

today my mom said the dumbest stuff. I'm gonna kill her. I told 41 not to let her talk. She was standing outside the Astrodome in Houston, which I really wanna check out when they fix it up and she opened her big fat moth at said about the black people: "What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is they all want to stay in Texas." Of course it's scary but Rove was clear that we can't say that. And then she said: "And so many of the people in the arena here, youknow, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this is working very well for them." I'm not sure what that means but people are PO'd. And she was laughing too. I always hated when she did that. She's always laugh after she said something mean.

I soooo don't want to go to Misiisippi

2005-09-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

I really didn't want to go to Missisippii. Or Alabama. I told Rovey that I saw the damage from my plane. But he made me go. I said to the press: "I'm not looking forward to this trip."

I saw these 2 women who just wouldn't stop crying. One of them said: "My son needs clothes, I don't have anything." What the hell did they want me to say? I don't know. So i kind of kissed them, on the head, NOT on the face because who know when they showered last. And then I told them "I understand that." And then I told them "Hang in there." I also recomended they go to a salvation army for help.

I saw Trenty's house, or what remains of it, that poor son of a bitch. It inspired me to say something very nice: "The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch." Everyone laughed so I guess they liked what I said. Even though I hated is porch. But I was trying to be nice.

Yeah, I've been keeping positive. I'm doing a real good job of relating to these people. I'm sad that New Orleans isn't around too. I said: "Here's what I believe. I believe that the great city of New Orleans will rise again and be a greater city of New Orleans. I believe the town where I used to come -- from Houston, Texas, to enjoy myself, occasionally too much -- will be that very same town, that it will be a better place to come to. " Gosh, I used to get soo sick here. Makes me sick just thinking about how sick I used to get. But it was fun.

Oh, I really feel bad for Brownie. I told him today, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." I think he felt a lot better. I hope so. Because I really do want him to give me a horse. I gotta stay on good terms with this guy.

No fair! Ray Nagin is such a sissy

2005-09-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

Condi called me and said she loved Smalalot. She laughed and laughed. She called from shoe shopping. That lady can shop. She spent a few thousand on ferregamo shoes on 5th avenue. I told her she better get some nice shoes she can wade through the water when she goes to the hurricane. We had a nice laugh. She said the U.S. open was fun too. That's so unfair. I don't get to anything. And I'm the president!

Oh I asked 41, my pop, to start raising some money for the twister victims. He's gonna team up with that douche bag Clinton.

It was cool because I got to go on Good Morning America today. I had to wake up SOOO early. Rovester went over my lines with me and I said them without messing up once. So when that snotty bitch Dian Sawer asked me "what took so long?" I said: "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees. They did anticipate a serious storm." Just like that. Didn't break or sweat or anything.

Everyone's PO'd with Brownie. Because he said some stuff on the TV that people didn't like. On nightline he said: "We just learned of the convention center -- we being the federal government -- today," and boy did Ted Koppel tear him a new one.

Cherty Cherty said on NPR "I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center who don't have food and water." But nobody's mad at him. I think it's because people just don't respect Brownie because he used to work with horses. I think his old job sounds cool. I'd like to over see Arabian horse shows.
I was fooling around on the internets today and found the Arabian Horse Association website. It's cool. They're raising money for sick horses in New Orleans. That's nice of them. I'm gonna get me a few Arabian horses. Maybe get Jenna and Barbara one too. They'd like that.
Ray "Charles" Nagin is such a sissy. Today he issued an SOS. What a sissy.

Back to work

2005-08-31T20:15:00.000-07:00

August 31

It's back to work for me. I flew all the way from Crawford all the way back to Washington D.C. I was curious about what's going in New Orleans but not curious enough to go. So it was perfect, I just had the pilot kinda swoop down so I could get a looksy. That's about as close as I wanted to go. Looked like a heck of a mess.

Then I gave a pretty good speech about it. I did a pretty good job. It's a good thing I flew over the damage. It helped me understand what the people are going through. I was a little distracted bc I knew Condi was seeing Spamalot and I kinda wished I could see it too. I bet it's really funny. But they didn't let me go. Oh well.

playing guitar

2005-08-30T16:43:00.000-07:00

August 30

Oops. It wasn't the civil war, it's world war II. I talked to these old guys who had helped us to win world war II. I was too young to realize what was going on then. But I talked about Iraq because it's a war I know more about. Afterwards the country singer Mark Wills gave me a kickass guitar. It has a presidential seal and everything. I strummed a g chord and it sounded alright!

Oh, Cherty Cherty told me that that levy thing did break it turns out. I hope that's not a bad thing. I don't think so. I don't think it's bad at all. He didn't sound too upset about it on Meet the press with tim fatty mc fatty russert. Cherty Cherty said "It was on Tuesday that the levee–may have been overnight Monday to Tuesday–that the levee started to break. And it was midday Tuesday that I became aware of the fact that there was no possibility of plugging the gap and that essentially the lake was going to start to drain into the city." But I'm so sad. Cheney told me this is my last day before going back to work. That sucks. I'm back in Crawford fore my last night of vacation.

2005-08-29T18:59:00.000-07:00

Monday aug 29
Wow that hurricane is awesome. I've been watching it on TV and it's crazy. Transformers are exploding, tress are flying all over the place, all these people are in something called a superdome. Superdome. I like the way that sounds. I wanna go to a superdome. It sounds fun and science fictiony. I'm gonna build one here in crawforf.

Today I had to leave Craford which sucks. On the plane I called Cherty Chert. I told the press:"I spoke to Mike Chertoff today — he's the head of the Department of Homeland Security. I knew people would want me to discuss this issue [immigration], so we got us an airplane on — a telephone on Air Force One."

Then I went to wish John McCain a happy birthday in Arizona. We had some cake. It was pretty good, a little dry, not as fudgy as I like my cake. I hate John McCAin. He's annoyong. Then I went to talk to some old farts at golf resort in Pehonix. I said: "This new bill I signed says, if you're a senior and you like the way things are today, you're in good shape, don't change. But, by the way, there's a lot of different options for you. And we're here to talk about what that means to our seniors." I think I sounded pretty good.

Then I flew all the way to southern california to talk to some more old fogies to talk about some changes in medicare or medicade. Which is it? Medicare, I think. I said: "We've got some folks up here who are concerned about their Social Security or Medicare. Joan Geist is with us. … I could tell — she was looking at me when I first walked in the room to meet her, she was wondering whether or not old George W. is going to take away her Social Security check." I can't remember who the heck Joan is. Oh well. Then I played some more golf. Rummy called me from a San Diego Padres baseball game. It sounded like he was having fun. I wish I could have went. Boy am I pooped. But I have to prepare for some speech tomorrow bc it's the anniversary of the civil war.

2005-08-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

August 27

Gosh, if it's not one thing, it's another, you know? If it's not Cindy Sheehan it's a hurricane. Can't a man take a vacation? Cheney told me I had to hold a press conference about it. But I didn't want to. So he finally said I could do it in a helicopter hanger. That was fun. I told people to evacuate but I really spent more time talking about the iraqi constitution because I like to talk about the positive, you know?

PS They told me something called a "levy" make "breech." I like that word breech. It's what dolphins do. And wales too. Whales and dolphins breech.

clearing the brush

2005-08-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

Friday, August 26

I cleared a lot of brush today. This ranch is looking pretty good if I do say so myself. They keep talking about this gosh-darn hurricane. It may get worse. That would suck. I'm going to clear some more brush.

hangin loose

2005-08-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

Thursday August 25

There was a hurricane today. A real twister. 9 people died.

I love Idaho. "I'm kind of hanging loose, as they say,"

shut up!

2005-08-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

Aug 21st

So the Camp Casey people are still here. They're so annoying. I can't deal with this. I'm gonna go to Idaho.

2005-08-18T16:33:00.000-07:00

August 18th

Dear Blog,

Thank the lord. Cindy Sheehan left to see her 74 year old mother who had a stroke. I bet her face looks really funny. She probably talks like "blaa, naaa, yaaa." I shouldn't say that, that's kind of mean. Anyway, maybe now I can get some peace and quiet! Sheesh!

Cindy Sheehan is really, really, really annoying

2005-08-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

August 17
Dear Blog

Ok. Now she's really annoying me. She won't shut up and her whole camp casey thing is so annoying. I hate having to drive by them. They're so stupid. Ugggghh.

I'm going to sleep now.

Cindy Sheehan is sooo annoying

2005-08-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

August 16th

Dear Blog,

Cindy Sheehan is so annoying. It's 4 days into my vacation and she shows up in an "impeachment tour" bus.

Will this woman every shut up! Gosh. "Why did you kill my son? What did he die for?" Blah, blah, blah, blah. Shut up already woman. And she's so sensitive. Gosh. She's telling everyone that when we met last summer I called her "mom." So? But I will not be bullied by this woman, I will not be intimidated, by this rude, pushy, nagging mom. I already have one of those. So I said: "But whether it be here or in Washington or anywhere else, there's somebody who has got something to say to the president, that's part of the job. And I think it's important for me to be thoughtful and sensitive to those who have got something to say."

And then I said "I think it's also important for me to go on with my life, to keep a balanced life." Because I really do need some me time. Gosh I love Crawford.